Wednesday, 10 October 2007

This Week I Have Been Mostly..............

1. Eating things I should not.
I blame internet shopping for the kind of pointless, calorie laden, impulse purchases that arrived with my Tesco delivery the other day. (Look, Waitrose didn’t have a slot available and I was down to the last tin of foie gras Ok! I’m not proud.) They tempt you with all the special offers in one place, and I always feel somehow inadequate if I don’t take advantage of a good “2 for 1” deal. To wit, two bars of Lindt Exellence dark chocolate with bitter orange & almonds. I don’t normally eat much chocolate, but if this is what “getting touch in with your feminine side” is all about, on the basis of this delicious stuff I’m going to have to be very careful.

Fortunately Tesco inadvertently restored my ying yang balance by including a product I did not order, a pack of instant microwave “flamer” burgers, complete with ersatz buns. As frighteningly lazy a manfood as society has ever invented. Normally I pour foul scorn on folk who live of this sort of stuff, but knowing I was a mere 55 seconds away from an illicit chemical infusion, and in the privacy of my own kitchen, I confess I ate them out of morbid curiosity. They were particularly bland….But I’d be interested to know what the person who presumably really wanted them made of my missing Lincolnshire Plum Fruit Loaf.

2. Waiting for things to be delivered.
Namely food, as above, but also my new phone upgrade, which I secured after a bit of premier league haggling with Carphone Warehouse. For some reason a lot of stuff off ‘tinternet round here gets delivered by City Link, who's vechicles have a pleasingly visible yellow and green livery. It catches your eye out of the lounge window, and makes you anticipate all the technological purchases that might be about to knock on your door. The trouble is, this can get a bit out of hand. I now seem to have a Pavlovian twitching reflex whenever any kind of delivery van goes past the cottage.

3. Playing with my new phone.
It has tons of complicated features that I neither understand or need, like WirelessLan, GPS Mapping and Visual Radio. So much so in fact that I am a little frightened to call anyone for fear of accidentally re-routing a satellite or two. However it is shiny, and very flash, and I got it for free, so naturally I love it very much.

4. Reading other people blogs.
Dipping a toe into the wider world of blogging, beyond the regular output of my Allotmenteering chums, I can recommend the scribes behind Little Red Boat, JohnnyB’s Private Secret Diary and The World of Jill Twiss as very funny folk, and well worth the effort to RSS tag them. Not so much bloggers as humorists, and most deserving of the oxygen of publicity that sadly they will not get by me mentioning them here. Visitor numbers at Quotidian are very low at the moment.... Presumably as a result of me being more of a blogger than a humorist.

5. Getting one over on authority.
After 6 months of threatening to take me to court for money I never owed them, the local council where I used to live, have finally checked their sums, and are sending me a big fat refund instead!

……So reaching for a bottle of BOGOF lager I say “Cheers All.”


Melanie Rimmer said...

Heh heh. Stick it to The Man.

Matron said...

So far I have resisted the temptation to do internet supermarket shopping. I suppose the whole shopping 'experience' is a woman thing - I just love hunting for a bargain, taking it home and eating it. But that sounds a bit 'cavewoman' doesn't it?