Friday, 6 February 2009

Evil Genius.... ?

As more than a few of you who occasionally peer into this little space will know, being allotmenteers and gardeners almost to a man, 'tis the season for postmen to be groaning under the weight of unsolicited seed catalogues.

I've had a whole rake of them drop through my letterbox in the past few weeks. Kings, Marshalls, Suttons, T&M, Dobbies, in fact all the usual suspects. But currently being plotless (and potless) I just file them in the back of a cupboard, in case I should suddenly need to order some rhubarb crowns one day, or an emergency supply of fennel seeds.

Overall though, as a means for seperating me from my cash they have all been pretty much a waste of time on the part of their publishers.

Today though, I received another, from "J. Parkers", and this one is slightly different...

You know how they pump synthesised bread smells into supermarkets to make you feel hungry, ......well Parkers' seed catalogue fairly reeks of compost. And Bonemeal, and bits of old string. In order to check I was not mistaken I got the others out of the cupboard and sniffed them thoroughly, and nothing..... Just the normal inky, junk mail smell.

So, either Parkers is a small operation, and they really have kept the catalouges next to the John Innes all winter, or.....they have been deliberately impregnated with "Essence of Potting Shed".

I see it was delivered via those busy folk at DHL, and as I know enough of how high volume mailing works, from a former existence, I'm pretty sure they would go direct to DHL from the printers. I suspect therefore that I (we), are being practised upon by a piece of beautifully simple but brilliant salesmanship.... And it makes me want to plant something.

So if you have J. Parkers latest missive, give it a sniff and tell me I'm not wrong!

I've left mine out on side for the time being, within easy reach. Just until the musty thrill is gone.

...... Or perhaps I've simply just been snowed in here too long.






3 comments:

The Allotment Blogger said...

oooh, that's evil indeed! Somehow I don't have them on my list - I shall go and rectify the situation now. Plants of Distinction got half my Christmas money this year ... the rest went to the allotment shop!

Matron said...

Yes, I have piles of garden catalogues but must confess to not having sniffed them! I'll go upstairs now without delay and give it a go. Pervy... or what!

lottie said...

You are so funny - you make my day