Having read up on my viticulture, and discovered that now is about the right time to do it, I drastically "reduced" my grapevine today.
Actually, as I have no truck at all with the forthcoming Season of Stupidness, I was originally planning to do it on Thursday the 25th, if for no other reason than to freak out the neighbours.....
"Why are you doing that today?...It's Christmas!"
"Not in my house it's bloody not!"
Unfortunately you can't rely on weather these days, so seizing upon an uncharacteristically clement spell, and harnessing my new found interest in pub avoidance strategies, I took my courage, and my secateurs, in both hands, and set to with a will.
This (embarrassingly slapdash) picture shows the mound of material I removed, by rule of thumb, following the main vines, and cutting back the side shoots to two buds....God only knows if this is right, but it's about the only sense I could make of all the conflicting information on the Interweb.
Using my ampleness as deadweight, I hauled on the ends in a bell-ringing style-ee, until gravity finally won out over friction, and I got it all down.
I guess I will have to wait until March to find out if I've killed it or not, but given the vigour it has hitherto displayed, I am reasonably confident it will be OK.
All I need now, is to find something else, both mundane and yet suitably eccentric, to do on the Bank Holiday while you lot are all getting pissed and pretending to like pullovers.