Sunday, 6 April 2008

Not Waving But Drowning............

I've been thinking a bit about genetics today, albeit in a very loose, sofa based, ceiling gazing fashion.

Take me and my sister for example..... Although a tadge bit younger than me, but she too only became a motorist relatively recently.(I stuck it out for 40 years before grasping the greasy gearstick of freedom, but then I always was more stubborn. Or maybe just more backward.)

Of itself, only a small coincidence I grant, but then there is also the business of hand signals to consider as well.

Lil' Sis is qualified in British Sign Language, or "Tic-Tac for deaf people" as I may have occasionally referred to it... In fact she's 2IC in a school for the deaf, very dedicated, a credit to our parents, and really knows her stuff.

I on the other hand only know that the international sign for "England" is the same as the sign for "Chips", and how to say "F**k off you W****r" in BSL.

(I'm a comparative novice then compared to this rather rude lady)
***Caution: Parental Guidance!***

Although these scant gesticular skills may not be of much practical use, nor very likely to endear me to the deaf community, I'm beginning to think there must be something in the genes, as in the space of a week I have become fluent in "Apologetic Driver".

Only this morning I was able, simply by waving a regal hand in the rear-view mirror, to convey all the following meanings....

1. Sorry I pulled out in front of you. I honestly thought it was my turn.

2. Sorry I stalled in front of you. It was the clutch who did it. I hardly touched

3. Was that a mini-roundabout? It looked a lot like a crossroads.

4. Yes I am new to this Mr.Speedfreak, that's why I slow down for bends. And slight curves.

5. Actually I've no idea why you just honked me there. No... Let's not stop and discuss it in that tone. Let's just let bygones be bygones.

6. Hello pretty girl on a horse. Those jodhpurs do wonders for you! I just nearly crashed!!

........Just call me the McCririck of motoring.

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