Thursday, 27 September 2007

Crap Day Rant............

"Did you ever...
Did you ever have...
Did you ever have one...
Did you ever have one of those days boys,
Did you ever have one of those days,
Where nothing goes right from morning til night,
Did you ever have one of those days!"


So sung Elvis... And although we cannot know for sure if this was really a premonition of his demise, by "leaving the building" so to speak, during a hamburger related overdose while enthroned on the khazi, I like to think it was.... I certainly imagine he'd had better day's anyway.

He may of course still be singing it now in Tupelo or Tadcaster or Tel Aviv, depending on which conspiracy theory you subscribe to, but leaving the be-whiskered, jump-suited monarch aside for a moment, I had a frustrating day myself yesterday, although thankfully without any terminal, lavatorial mishaps.

Firstly a photographic gadget I'd ordered off 'tinternet arrived, but was the wrong thing. After I packed it up to go back, wandered the whole 50yds to the letter box to wave it off, and sauntered back, I saw one small but crucial component, still lying on the coffee table. I've now returned this as well, suitably cross referenced, but I can still sense a whole campaign of e-mail warfare ahead, in order to sort out my postal incompetence, and my refund.

I then spent the best part of an hour trying to get through on the phone to a real person in a public utility, which as anyone in the UK knows, is so fiendishly difficult it's in the running to be a demonstration event at the Beijing Olympics. Mission partially accomplished, (Real person: Yes - Competent & Informed: Fuck no!) I noticed I had not received an eagerly expected e-mail from about a bloke about job I'm chasing. Having phoned him, I found he'd just left to go on a trip..... About an hour ago, whilst I was pressing button 4 for the "If you have lost the will to live" option.

Realising that the Gods of progress we sneering at me, I decided to opt out for the afternoon and go to the cinema instead, to see "3:10 to Yuma". Not something I do more than once a year really, as I'm fussy about films, but I do like a good formulaic Western so it seemed a reasonable idea.

I got into town early, and found a pub to hole up for half an hour. Not really caring for their draught beers I ordered a bottle of Becks, found a seat, took a swig and discovered that it had nothing inside it except water.(At least I hope to God it was water.) This prompted a rather tense stand off with the barman who clearly suspected foul play on my part, and forced me to do the terribly un-British thing of "making a fuss". Happily though the replacement bottle he eventually offered was just the same, so we fell to mutually castigating the Germans for the shocking decline of their once proud brewing industry.

On then heading for the Cinema, I found someone had moved it. At least it was not where the online map, which being new to the town, I had optimistically consulted, said it could commonly be found. I finally located it after 15 minutes of tramping around, looking down side streets and whistling for it like a lost dog, which served only to aggravate my injured ankle.

Now is it just me, or is the lighting in movie house foyers really poor these days? And aren't those directional signs often very misleading?....

OK so it's me....I hurried into the wrong cinema, mistaking the cryptically signed theatre number 2, for number 3.

Although the film was later starting than I expected, as I said, I don't go often, so I was not sure how much promotional crap they allow for in the timings these days. I was quite surprised therefore to find I was not about to watch the tough, gritty, post Iraq examination of the American Cowboy legacy that I had anticipated, but instead, a supposed comedy about American teenagers, behaving like complete wankers, whilst talking about...well... mostly wanking really.... And High school high jinx, chasing girls, porn channels, and more wanking.

I admit this may be a slightly biased review of "Superbad", but I did leave after 20 minutes, so perhaps it turned out to be very poignant and Ibsenesque in the second hour. Other people seemed to be enjoying it, but I felt it lacked pathos. Or a plot. Or any really pissed off Indians.

Today, as a more cautious alternative to braving the outside world, I am staying in, and am considering re-wiring the house. I know nothing about electronics, but hey...It could be my lucky day!

Now what would The King sing for that?....... "All Shook Up!" perhaps.

9 comments:

She Who Digs said...

Oh dear GM, I do feel for you, what a frustrating day you had! I hope my dropping a litre of OPENED orange juice on the kitchen floor this morning isn’t a portent for my day going the way yours did! At least the sun is shining here in blatant disregard to the BBC local weather forecast! I can’t wait until I no longer work in an office…….SWD

Greenmantle said...

Thanks for the Support SWD!...I have my fingers crossed for your immediate future.

GM

Frankie @ Veg Plot said...

At least your boss didn't tell you that you remind him of the 'blonde one on the Vicar of Dibley'.

Greenmantle said...

Don't worry...We all have a tiny bit of Alice in us somewhere.

Frankie @ Veg Plot said...

Well I'd rather my boss didn't notice. Have you cheered up yet?

allotment lady said...

I hope your lack of posts since I last read this does not mean you did try and rewire your house - or yourself

Frankie @ Veg Plot said...

Here you go - an Egelnest Award

Greenmantle said...

No Lottie....still breathing thanks, but have been a bit preoccupied this week, and restricted in my activities, so haven't done much to blog about...

Hopefully more of interest soon.

Greenmantle said...

Thanks Frankie...I'll polish it up to go on my cyber-shelf